09 August 2010

0 The Power of the Words But and And

I am learning so much every day. Today I learned about the word "but." I wouldn't say that it is 100% a bad word to use but it should be used wisely and at the proper times. You might be asking your self "Hey didn't he just say not to use it and yet he did?" Well Im gonna break that sentence down and show you why I used it and how to use it properly.

Now go ahead and listen to how this sentence sounds again. "I wouldn't say that it is 100% a bad word to use but it should be used wisely and at the proper times." Now lets take a look at it and break it down. I first say something neutral about the word "but" and then after "but" I warn you that it should be used carefully I also through in an "and" to warn you again.

So what does this all mean and why did I engineer such a relatively in important sentence? 

Well the word "but" is very powerful. When used in a sentence people tend to pay less attention to the first part of the sentence (pre-but) and remember the part after the "but" (post-but). With the word and it is more neutral and people will hear both sides (post-and & pre-and). Can you see why this is powerful now? Lets look at the sentence again and ill explain what I did. In the pre-but I say "I wouldn't say that it is 100% a bad word to use but" This I want you to forget. Then in the post-but/pre-and I say "it should be used wisely" then again in the post-and you hear  "and at the proper times" both of these are warnings I want you to not only hear but feel.

Heres a simple change you can make.

When having to give some one a negative response use the word "but"!

Instead of saying "Hey Jill I can't help you today, I have xyz to do today."

Just throw in a but! "Hey Jill I can't help you today but tomorrow I get off at 3 we can do it then for sure."

First) I personally would drop the excuse because no one likes to here excuse (but we can talk about that in a later post)

Second) With the help of the but it takes the attention away from the "I cant help you" and places is it on the "I will help you tomorrow after work"

So start making this simple change and break good and bad news more easily to people!

06 August 2010

0 Your Brain Can't Process Negative Thoughts

So I have begun reading into Neuro Linguistic Programming. If you dont know about it already I sugest you take a look into it. Its essentially the science behind the ways our brain takes in information from your sensory systems like Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic, even smell and taste. It also explains about ways we can use our senses to experience the world in a more positive way. Along with realizing that everyone experiences the world differently through their own senses and that by realizing the way in which they experience the world we can communicate with them better to achieve a more pleasing result.

Anyways NLP isn't what I wanted to talk about because I am just starting to learn about it. So hear me out on this and you might see or begin to feel differently about the way you think. I wan't to ask you how many times you have caught your self focusing on a negative thought. Often? Never? Occasionally? Well if you answered yes to any of these I sugest you both start paying attention to when it happens and not only when you catch your self also make this simple change.

Your Brain Can't Process Negative Thoughts!

Thats right your brain doesn't process negative thoughts. So when you think "I am a terrible friend" "Im dumb" "Im Lazy" etc. etc. Your brain things "Being a terrible friend is great. Keep doing that!" "Being Dumb is awesome lets not read any books!" "Sitting on this couch eating Cheetos makes my life wonderful!" etc. etc. So instead of saying or think thoughts like that say to your self (and really hear your self) "I am productive" "I am amazingly smart and talented" "I work hard."

Now don't expect to see results instantly. Your not going to just say the words "I am smart" and be Einstein but if you continually tell your self positive things they will slowly work them selves into your every day thought and instead of sitting infront of the tube all day you might head over to Amazon or Borders and buy a book. Do you see how starting to make a change like this can greatly improve your attitude and life.

Start Making Changes!

01 August 2010

0 Start Making Changes

I decided to make "Start Making Changes" after going through a rough spot in my life where I was down in the dumps, unsure of myself, my schooling and my direction in life. I was nearly ready to give up. When All of a sudden life decided to smack me on the face and say wake up! Its no ones fault but your own!

This blog is not supposed to be a pity party for me in anyway. I wish for it to be quite the opposite really. I'll try to keep me personal feelings to a minimum unless for example purposes but I mainly want to talk about ways to improve ones happiness. This blog is supposed to be a form of self help for myself and for any readers I my acquire. We can learn and grow together and find strength in one another.  I have begun to make changes in my self to improve my well being, mental health and out look on life. I also hope that people might find strength in me to see there weakness, insecurities, negativities and most importantly to Start Making Changes in them selves.

The main goal I have is to at least open people up, get them ready for change or at least get their brains thinking about and ready for change. That is most important because if someone isn't ready for change or doesn't believe they need to change it won't happen. I cannon't create the change within someone just like no one created it in me. It came from within. A willingness to explore my weaknesses and insecurities.

In life no one controls your destiny but you.